BEAU the Jailer
Hello everybody, my name is “Beau the Jailer.” I just love to lock people in the feed room of the barn.I weigh about 1,000 pounds of rock-solid horse and I am 36 years old. Age has taken its toll on me. I can no longer hear, and all I have left are my “few front teeth.” But I still have an appetite, good vision, and a malicious sense of horse humor. I have lived with Doc (my Vet) and Koressa (his wife) for about 24 years, and we three have had many miles of horseback fun.
There was a time when the feed room was an easy place to get a snack and nobody ever complained. Then one day a new horse was delivered, and she discovered the feed room secret. Good news travels fast, and soon everybody was getting snacks and knocking over stuff and making a mess. The people put on a slider bolt door lock and the fun was over – no more on-demand snacks.
I watched the people as they locked and unlocked that slider bolt door lock. I began to try it when no people were around to see. Heck – it was easy, and I again enjoyed snacks until I was caught. The people added a clip lock to the slider bolt, and I could not unlock it with my mouth. I decided to teach them a lesson, so whenever a person went into the feed room, I would slide the bolt and lock them in! They would push the door, but they were locked in and it made me laugh.
My last victim was ole Luddd (Creef), the antique handy man. The door was locked, and he had to crawl out that high, narrow window. He said I was a very bad old horse (I can read lips), and he also said he would have the last laugh. Koressa will defend me, although she was locked in once.
I have no tolerance for them little midget mini-horses. They like to go in my stall and snoop around. I run them off because my privacy is important. I make the rules. I enforce the rules. Nobody rides me anymore, so I am a retired horse. My life has been great. Nobody ever tried to hurt me. I get tears in my eyes when I hear the stories from the rescued horses and donkeys who were beaten and starved nearly to death… we are so lucky to be on this farm where love, water, food, shelter and care are abundant.
--told by Beau the Jailer, with help from Luddd Creef
Update from Ludd - Luddd says he plans to get even with Beau by getting a can of dog food with the picture of a horse on the label and put it in his stall.