Sunnyside Invasion Possible !

There is reason to believe that a rock fairy has moved into Sunnyside. This is supported by the fact that random rocks have mysteriously shown up in several locations within the community. It is not entirely clear that it is the work of a rock fairy because the rocks have only appeared on occasion. Typically, a rock fairy will deliver about four rocks daily. It is theorized that this fairy may be elderly and looking for a place to retire. Rock fairies have an uncanny knack of leaving rocks in places where their gift will be tripped over. This is even more reason to believe this rock fairy may be retired or is about to retire.

Over the years rock fairies have been known by many names. Currently they seem to be called either Rock Fairies or Stone Gnomes. I personally prefer Rock Fairy, but Stone Gnome has a certain panache.

As I said. a rock fairy can be a nuisance because of their propensity for leaving rocks in inconvenient places. There is only one proven method for discouraging a rock fairy infestation. Rock fairies hate dirt. This has been shown to be the only method for discouraging a rock fairy.  To support this conclusion let’s look at a farmer’s field. Typically, large areas of ground have been tilled so there is a large area of dirt. If you inspect the area closely you will notice rocks all around the field proving that rock fairies have been in the area and they hate dirt. Further, an old field will have old moss-covered rocks proving that the fairies have moved on. If the there are some fresh rocks surrounding the field, then the rock fairies are still active. In one historical case, there must have been a huge infestation of rock fairies, because the rock pile surrounding the field was more than 10 feet high and 8 feet thick. In this case the farmer knocked a hole in the rock pile, installed a gate, and was protected for years. There is a group of historians who believe that this was the beginning of castle walls and fortifications.

I want to be clear, very little is actually known about rock fairies. No one was ever seen a rock fairy. Rock fairies are thought to be very ancient, going back to before the dinosaurs. There is a school of thought that attributes the Rocky Mountains to the work of rock fairies. It is also suspected that rock formations like El Capitan and Devil’s Tower, to name a few, are the work of a rock fairy artist much like Michelangelo in more recent times. If so, then ancient rock fairies must have been huge. It is interesting that not a single rock fairy bone has ever been exhumed, nor has a rock fairy footprint ever been discovered. This would lead one to believe that their bones must be hollow much like bird bones. Their bones would have to be strong to lift rocks and light weight to not leave footprints but easily dissolved. Another reason for no fossils is that rock fairies live where the rocks are, not near the mud where the fossils are found.

A group of rock fairies is called a Tink. Apparently a Tink of fairies left their home Tink to find a new territory. They must have found a location which had very, very small rocks because over the years the fairies got smaller and smaller until they were tiny. I believe that the most famous tiny rock fairy is Tink-Er-Bell.  I know this may be far-fetched because no one has ever seen a rock fairy, but, on the other hand who has actually seen Tink-Er-Bell. She is a figment of JM Barrie’s imagination, but a rock fairy is a rock fairy.

So, what does all this mean to Sunnyside residents. I think there are three things we can do:
  1. If you notice a rock that was not there yesterday, say something.
  2. Be sure to pay attention when you are walking. Although rock fairies are not malicious, they have a knack for putting rocks in the way.
  3. Let’s hope that if a rock fairy decides to retire at Sunnyside, he also retires from rock gathering.